you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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