alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
