On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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