he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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