Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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