What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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