You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ketchup is God's man juice
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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