I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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