"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
