is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
