she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
