I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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