One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
