If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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