Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
