its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
