You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
