my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
