i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
