Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What a dumb baby whore.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
