I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
