Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
