I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
