i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
