Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
