apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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