is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Sext me about skeletons
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
