All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
