smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Welp...herpes.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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