there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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