i would punch a child for taco bell
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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