i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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