Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
