He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
