I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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