Yo dont text me then not text me
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
please don't ironically join a cult
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
