Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
