So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
