Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
