Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
