I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
two words: eviction party
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
