I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
