Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
