If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
