He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
wow bdsm is so cute
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
