Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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