Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
His hands were made for my vagina.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
