I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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