You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I stole a fireplace last night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
40s are totally the cure
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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