This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
