ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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